10. The “waterboarding” of dirty prison uniforms in the GITMO laundry room
9. “Two-to-the-eyes”
8. Demerits for throwing feces at GITMO Military Police
7. Yelling at detainees when they don’t answer questions
6. “Bush lied; people died!”
5. “Pantsing” on the chow line
4. Revoking popcorn privileges on movie night
3. Any measures that actually prevent plane highjackings, the blowing up of office buildings, or mass shootings
2. The prohibition of “Dirty Sanchez” during conjugal visits
1. The asking of any questions related to the subject of “terrorism”
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